Following on from mental health awareness week, I won’t lie, with everything in the news at the moment it hasn’t been easy. I’ve never used my blog to voice my opinion on politics because a) I know I don’t fully understand it; b) my blog is focused on equestrian and running and c) I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing.
I’ll admit, though, after finishing my dissertation (almost a month ago now) I started reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. As much as I’m aware the events of the novel (which I haven’t yet finished) are not confined to fiction, it made me uncomfortable. Because no one should be treated in those ways. Words can be powerful, though, and no matter how uncomfortable it makes me feel, I know I still have a lot to learn and I will read the rest of the novel.
In terms of running, now I’m back to running 5k every day (most days) I’ve completed a couple of slightly longer runs this week. A 10k, which I submitted to Relish Running as a member of #TeamTarmac, raising money for Dorothy House Hospice Care, and a four mile run. I also submitted both of these runs towards Equestrian Club’s Run of the Roses mileage, supporting Morecambe Bay Foodbank.
I want to leave you with a poem I wrote last week, which captures my feelings in these draining times.
Giving up on Dreams
My face glows,
catching the sun and the moonbeams,
carved out to meet unrealistic
Misshapen, I’m not what you see
on the surface. Below
the water, my legs thrash as I try to
suppress my feelings,
but it hurts.
I miss the touch of trees,
the breath of the grass,
the warmth of the birdsong,
the embrace of the breeze.
Seeing, hearing, but not feeling
because I’m too frightened
to keep my head above the clouds